Its that time of year again. The Aussie spirit - you know, ANZAC, beer, maaaateship, sport etc etc - is inflamed by natural disaster relief in the form of big, safe concerts at cricket grounds around the country. Its a classic formula. Take veteran Aussie performers to roll out the same 3 songs they have been playing for the past 30 years - Hoodoo Gurus, Midnight Oil, Icehouse. Add the sacred cows of Kylie and Farnsy. Beg foreign touring bands to play a few songs without being cringed out of life on account of the high rate of Southern Cross tatoos in the crowd.
Respectfully, the Kings of Leon did not play Sex on Fire. The following bands should be taken away and shot for their disrespect to the victims of the bush*****:
1. Midnight Oil. Beds are Burning.
2. Coldplay. Fix You Up Good With My Flame Thrower.
3. Jet. Get Me Outta Here Cause My House is on Fire.
4. Royksopp. Happy Up Here in Norway Which Doesn't Catch on Fire Too Often.
5. Regurgitator. My Polyester Girl is Highly Flammable.
I refuse to buy that a country that can afford to give 900 bucks to half its population cant afford to rebuild these places without the help of big, cheesy, flag waving concerts. Or that the world ever needed to be subjected to Coldplay and John Farnham singing You're the Voice. May God have mercy on our souls.
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