1. Enough with baby bonuses and paid parental leave. I choose not to have a baby, and instead to take paid awesome leave. It entitles me to two years pay in return for retiring from the workforce to be awesome. Alternatively, I could claim the awesome bonus - a one off payment for everytime I'm awesome.
2. I know we all love to embrace our inner bogan, but is it too much to ask that journalists and editors refrain from using the following terms: Libs, firies, ambos, Aussie mums, Gen, any contraction relating to the relationship between two famous people I don't give a shit about, romp, using the word 'crisis' in regards to any rugby league related issue, tweet.
3. Shoot Miranda Devine.
I also want paid awesome leave
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