I've spent many hours researching and compiling this list. Thats a lie. I wrote it last night on a placemat in a bar. So, here it is. The 50 shittest things on the planet, in no particular order. All of them have held the number one spot at some point in my life.
The Ivy. If you have never heard of Ivy before, count yourself very, very lucky. You are one of God's chosen people.
The long green part of celery. Tastes like shit. Stringy, and not in a good way.
Schmiddies. As if poker machines werent enough of a blight on society, publicans decided to introduce what seems to be a shotglass of beer for $8.
Joining the fan club of your country of residence on Facebook. Nationalism isn't cool kids.
Facebook profile pictures involving bikinis, pouting or self takes from above. Narcissism isn't cool kids.
Having to wear a uniform or a suit to work. It sucks enough already, lets not make the experience more uncomfortable.
Visas and passports. Bad idea Persians.
Places with no Yum Cha Restaurants. Get the net, its the greatest meal on Earth.
Rugby League. Actually, all sports with Rugby in the title.
Southern Cross Tattoos. Regular readers will already be aware of my aversion to these boganometres.
Censorship. If you fuckers get to stand up in front of the media and parliament and god knows who else and say whatever you want, so do we.
Fascists, in all the various forms they take.
People who vote for the Liberal Party.
People who vote for the Labor Party and think it will make a difference.
Paying rent and bills. Who decided it was legit to charge people for shelter and water?
Pearl Harbour the movie. Possibly the place too, but I'll keep you posted in case I have any holidays in Hawaii in the future.
Abi conversations. So much talk, so much gesticulation, very little result.
The question "So, what do you do?". What do YOU DO aminakoyim.
Waking up with a raging thirst and realising the only thing to drink is off milk. And the water out of the tap is the same colour as off milk.
Assholes. Similar to Fascists, but from all political persuasions.
Stations. Pass it friendy.
The rules of economics. Why can't we just print more money?
Being too self aware in photos. This isn't Vogue, sweetheart. Get that arm off your hip. It doesn't make you look skinnier, just stupider.
The non existence of teleportation devices. Less weapons technology, more me being able to go to the Carribean for a swim at 4 on a Monday.
The Eagles. Without a doubt, the most bland, pathetic excuse for a band known to man. Aqua has more cred than you. Stop raping my ears.
OK. Thats it for the time being. Second 50 to come soon. All comments and suggestions for stuff YOU think is shithouse are very welcome. Feel free to suggest my blog.
